Helping Children Grow Spiritually covers five practices that parents can model to help foster spiritual growth in children. Part 1 discusses the importance of modeling a love for God, Part 2, the need to model a trust in God, Part 3, modeling a relationship with God, and in Part 4, I finish the series with the importance of modeling prayer and grace.
Model Prayer
This year our third and fourth grade students put together an amazing work of art for our school’s annual auction. The teacher photographed each student’s hands in the praying position and mounted the pictures a mat board. The words “pray without ceasing” written in the center was the recurring theme in the classroom (1Thess. 5:17). Prayer is a conversation with God and helps to deepen our relationship with Him. For our children to grow in the Lord they must learn to pray. I know from experience that the Holy Spirit can speak to the heart of a child, and the child speak back without training. However, most children are going to learn about talking with God from a parent, a teacher, a grandparent, or Sunday school teacher who provides an example of prayer.
It is not the prayer per se that is significant, but the purpose of prayer that is important. Modeling prayer will reveal to your child who you trust, and who you look to for guidance. Prayer demonstrates a love and need for God. It communicates a trust in His sovereignty and the ability to have a personal relationship with Him.
When my children were growing up, prayer was included as part of our conversations. As teenagers, if the discussion was about friends and relationships we would stop and pray. If one of our children had a concern, a test or special presentation, we would pray before they left the house. We acknowledged God’s rule and asked for wisdom, and favor. When they went out for the evening we would pray in advance. I asked God to help them make wise decisions when attending events, movies, parties, or other activities, always aware of the many influences they would encounter. All this made them keenly aware of several things: God was with them, God was going to guide them, God was in control, and they were accountable to Him.
Pray without ceasing really means pray without ceasing-a constant conversation with God! I hope that your children and our students learn that they can talk to God about anything, anytime. Imagine if they could grasp that truth; what a difference it would make in their relationship with Him!
Model the Grace of God
In addition to modeling a love for God, a trust in God, a relationship with God, and prayer, it is important to model the grace of God. Grace is a hard concept to understand until you are the recipient of grace. Grace is God extending undeserved forgiveness for our sin and providing a means of reconciliation, through faith in His crucified Son. Grace then, comes at a great cost. Jesus bore the penalty for sin, forgiving the sin of those who trust in Him. We often forget that we are in need of forgiveness and God’s grace. We sometimes look at the offense of others as much greater than our own, when in fact, Christ died for all, and at the foot of the cross our sin all looks the same.
What does it look like to model grace to our children? In order to model grace, we must acknowledge our own sin when we encounter challenges to our wants and desires, and received God’s forgiveness. Modeling grace means that we understand our sinful heart and treat others with the same mercy we experience from God when we sin.
The grace we receive, we are to extend to others. If (wink, wink), you have ever cut someone off in traffic, why would you respond as if you deserve to be treated better when someone cuts you off? How do you react when your spouse forgets to pick up the milk on the way home? Have you ever forgotten a request of his/hers? What happens when one child gets angry at a sibling? Do you get angry with your spouse and your children? The point here is that we all sin. It is important for our children to know that we fail and are in need of forgiveness, just as they are in need of forgiveness. Your children are aware when you sin and are watching your reaction. When God helps you to respond rightly, do your children know what motivates you to respond with grace? Do they understand the concept of grace?
When a student is sent to my office for a conduct issue, I am not looking to condemn them. I want to see a contrite heart but not a hopeless spirit. Children must know that they can ask and receive forgiveness from God and those whom they have sinned against, and start anew without carrying the burden of their sin. This is amazing, glorious grace!
After being sent to her room for a repeated offense, my three year old granddaughter hollered out to her mother, “Mommy, can’t you just give me grace?” This amusing story illustrates several things: the parents had modeled grace, grace had been extended to her in the past, and she understood the concept of grace to mean her offense would bear no penalty and she could be released from captivity!
Keep in mind that grace does not negate the consequences of disobedience. Forgiveness does not mean that there are not natural consequences to sin, and grace must never be an excuse to sin. Grace does mean there is hope and a clean slate when we genuinely ask for God’s forgiveness.
Are you praying throughout the day and asking your children to pray as life happens? What does praying without ceasing look like in your family? What about grace? How have you communicated this concept to your children? Please leave a comment below.