Love is a Powerful Motivator

Red and pink hearts are everywhere. Boxes of chocolates, balloons, and roses fill the entrance to grocery and retail stores this month.  It’s a reminder to celebrate Valentine’s Day and share a little love.  Love is defined differently depending on who you ask.  It’s about romance for some, commitment for others, or a feeling you have for someone special.  The term love is used to describe one’s feeling for pizza, a good book, a pet or family member.  When asked what love is, one Kindergarten student thoughtfully responded, “Love is when you try to make someone feel good”.  However it may be defined, love is a powerful motivator. 

Love Motivates

In addition to motivating young men to work hard to provide for a family, for independent women to compromise their career path, and new parents to return to their roots, love can motivate children to obey, to achieve in school, and to love others.  Parents and teachers are given the opportunity to train children in a manner that is rooted in love. 

Parental Love Motivates Children to Achievement

Parenting styles vary, but studies show that children with parents who demonstrate love through support and encouragement (authoritative parenting style) are more likely to obey family rules and follow the model and values set by parents (Wilson, 2016).  Parental love motivates children to please their parents.  Unlike the authoritarian parent who rules with an iron fist, or the permissive parent with low expectations and limited boundaries, children in a loving home, with authoritative parents, are more likely to meet parents’ high expectations for household responsibilities, roles within the family, and school achievement. 

Teachers’ Love Motivates Student to Achievement

Teacher-student relationship has a similar effect.  Forming positive bonds between teacher and student creates classrooms with supportive spaces where students are academically and socially productive (Hamre & Pianta, 2001). In the classroom, love is a powerful motivator.  Teachers who cultivate a culture of respect, exercises patience in teaching, express love, and offer support to their students are more effective teachers.  Students who feel cared for by their teachers perform better in school and work hard to complete challenging tasks.  Love and kindness builds the relationship, bringing about a desire to obey and please the teacher.   

Love is Exercised in Relationship

Love is more than a feeling.  Love is a practice, exercised in the context of a relationship.  The most significant relationship is the one we have with our Creator. One of the most familiar passages of scripture, John 3:16 declares, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” I John states that “God is love” and records the extent of His love for us.  We love, because He first loved us (I John 4:19).  In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome…(I John 5:3).  Here we see that love begets obedience.

The Bible is replete with chapters devoted to defining love.  A common passage read at weddings, 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 in the New Testament, is a meaningful description of what love is and what love is not.  Love is patient, love is kind.  Love does not provoke, is not arrogant, and does not hold grudges.  Genuine love is sacrificial.  It is putting the needs of others above your own. 

With regard to children, love is a powerful motivator in the parent-child relationship and the teacher-student relationship.  When instruction and training is founded on love, children blossom and learn to love others.  Consider the love “is” and “does not” verses in I Corinthians 13.  Are there attributes of love that you find more difficult than others to exercise with your children or students? How might you apply the instructions of this passage in your parent-child or teacher-student relationship?  Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. 

References

Hamre, B. K., & Pianta, R. C. (2001). Early teacher–child relationships and the trajectory of children’s school outcomes through eighth grade. Child Development, 72(2), 625-638.

O’Connor, E. E., Dearing, E., & Collins, B. A. (2011). Teacher-child relationship and behavior problem trajectories in elementary school. American Educational Research Journal, 48(1), 120-162.

Wilson, K. (2016). A phenomenological study of parenting practices perceived to have fostered academic success by graduates of masters and doctoral programs. ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, Retrieved from: http://search.proquest.com/openview/545d2f29be37765f37e63bfb2552f01e/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y. (10120369).