Parenting Styles-Authoritarian Parent

Parenting Styles

Parenting style is characterized by a consistent manner of parenting that creates the emotional climate in the home.  Sociologists, psychologists, and educators have sought to characterize, study, and examine parenting styles and the effect of various styles on aspects of childhood such as academic achievement, education, faith, career choices, self-reliance, self-control and the like. Studies have linked parenting styles with creativity (Miller, Lambert & Speirs Neumeister, 2012), adolescent autonomy (Baumrind, 2005), school achievement (Areepattamannil, 2010; Ishak, Fin Low, & Li Lau, 2012; Kordi & Baharudin, 2010; Parsasirat, Montazeri, Yusooff, Subhi, & Nen, 2013; Spera, 2005), and adolescent adjustment (Lee, Daniels, & Kissinger, 2006).  Although there is an ever growing attempt to expand the categories of parenting styles, the following four typologies are universally recognized: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive (developed by Diana Baumrind), and the fourth-indifferent (proposed by Maccoby and Martin, 1983), which I refer to as dismissive.

Biblical Approach to Parenting

Absent from this list of parenting styles is a biblical approach to parenting.  Interestingly, the biblical model for parenting is ever present in each of the four typologies, as we will see.   One does not find this biblical approach in the mainstream parenting research.  And yet, any discussion regarding behavior and relationships can ultimately be viewed through biblical principles. William P. Farley focuses on the Gospel as the source for parenting in Gospel-Powered Parenting.  The Bible assigns the training of children to the parents. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

In addition to charging parents with the task of child training, the Bible speaks to the manner in which a parent is to interact with a child in the training process.  The Tripp brothers, in their many books, have espoused a biblical model of parenting for decades.  Proverbs 13:24 states that parents who love their children will diligently discipline their children, implying a consistent, purposeful practice of training.  Children are exhorted to honor their father and mother (Exodus 20:12), and to hear “your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck” (Proverbs 1:8-9).  

Reinforcing the principle that parents have a 24-7 task to train their children, Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs parents to pass on the commands of God to their children.   

These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. ‘You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.’

Authoritarian Parent

The first parenting style to discuss is the authoritarian parent.  The characteristics, biblical application, and outcomes of this approach will be examined.  

Characteristics

The authoritarian parent imposes strict rules and adopts a punitive approach to discipline.  This parent does not give clear explanation and communicates a “because I said so” attitude to the child.  Baumrind (2005) describes this parent as one who communicates high demands and low responsiveness.  This parent is harsh and shows little warmth and affection.  Control and rules are used to express expectations.  There is little discussion between the parent and child, and little consideration for the child’s feelings.  Although the authoritarian parent may evoke initial obedience to his or her demands, this style of parenting generally leads to rebellion in the adolescent years.

Biblical Application

The Bible speaks to this type of parent in several ways, as a negative approach to training children.  First, fathers are not to provoke or frustrate their children (Ephesians 6:4).  Nor are parents to stir up anger (Proverbs 15:8).   Rather, according to Scripture, parents are to show patience, kindness, and love in the training process.  The biblical purpose for discipline is reconciliation and training in godliness (Hebrews 12:11).  The home climate with authoritarian parents could be described as contentious in contrast to one of unity.  Colossians 3:12-14 is clear in explaining how believers are to treat one another if we are to live in unity:

And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you so also should you.  And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 

Love, grace, forgiveness, patience, and wisdom are needed for Godly training and for training in Godliness, but these virtues are absent in the authoritarian style of parenting.  

Outcomes of Authoritarian Parenting

            It’s not surprising then, that the outcomes of authoritarian parenting are negative.  Studies show that homes with authoritarian mothers are less conducive to fostering creativity in their children (Miller et al., 2012) and may result in negative behaviors (Lee et al., 2006).  Lacking self-confidence and motivation, children with authoritarian parents generally do not perform as well in school. 

Spiritually speaking, this parent tends to be legalistic, adhering to the law without acknowledgement of grace.  Authoritarian parents may be more concerned with their child’s outward behavior and their own reputation than the heart and spiritual well-being of their child.  This results in a broken relationship, creating a wedge in communication, and rebellion against parent values. 

Children with authoritarian parents develop an unhealthy view of authority.  They make an erroneous association between obedience, love and acceptance.  Although Scripture speaks to the importance of children obeying parents and authority, this obedience is meant to be done in response to a love for God, not to find acceptance and worth.  God’s love is not based on our deeds, but on our worth as a created being.  Children growing up with authoritarian parents often feel that love is only given when they comply with their parent’s demands.

These children may become aggressive, and treat others with harshness, following the lead of their parents.  They may also become fearful and unsure of themselves, timid, and unresponsive in social situations.  And lastly, because they rarely act independently, learning the consequences of unwise decisions, they may lack self-control or hide from authority (e.g. parents and teachers) those thoughts and behaviors they believe to be unacceptable.  The following is an example of a child from a home with authoritarian parents.

Case Study:

Jessica grew up in a home with lots of rules. Her dad was a no nonsense guy who demanded her respect and compliance to his wishes.  He communicated a “my way or the highway” attitude.  Growing up with unbelieving, authoritarian parents, the rules were unreasonable.  Jessica was not allowed to have a phone, use a computer, attend school events, or go to a friend’s home.  She became depressed and withdrawn.  She would sneak out of the house at night which lead to increased restrictions.  Without any skills to help support her, she left home before graduating from high school and moved in with an unemployed, uneducated man.  Within a few months, she was pregnant and began using drugs.  This may be an extreme case, but not an unusual story for a child growing up in an oppressive, authoritarian home.  Fortunately, her story is not over, and we can hope that she will find new life in Christ.

In summary, the authoritarian parent is demanding, not responsive, does not express warmth, is not nurturing, uses a punitive form of discipline often without explanation, does not give a child choices, is harsh and impatient-frustrating or humiliating the child, does not trust the child to make wise choices, does not negotiate or discuss decision making.  The authoritarian environment in the home hinders the child’s spiritual, academic, social, and behavioral health.  The Bible, however, offers hope for parents.  For those looking for help, consider reading Gospel-Powered Parenting, Give Them Grace, Age of Opportunity and Shepherding a Child’s Heart. 

The authoritative parent, whose style has been shown to be the most effective is discussed in another article.      

 

 

REFERENCES

Areepattamannil, S. (2010). Parenting practices, parenting style, and children’s school achievement. Psychological Studies. © National Academy of Psychology (NAOP) India. doi: 10.1007/s12646-010-0043-0  

Baharudin, R., Hong, C., Lim, S., & Zulkefly, N. (2010). Educational goals, parenting practices and adolescents' academic achievement. Asian Social Science, 6(12), 144-152.

Baumrind, D. (2005). Patterns of parental authority and adolescent autonomy. New Directions For Child & Adolescent Development, 2005(108), 61-69.

Ishak, Z., Fin Low, S., & Li Lau, P. (2012). Parenting style as a moderator for students’ academic achievement. Journal of Science Education & Technology, 21, 487-493. doi: 10.1007/s10956-011-9340-1

Kordi, A., & Baharudin, R. (2010). Parenting attitude and style and its effect on children's school achievements. International Journal of Psychological Studies, 2(2), 217.   

Lee, S., Daniels, M., & Kissinger, D. (2006). Parental influences on adolescent adjustment: Parenting styles versus parenting practices. The Family Journal, 14(3), 253-259. doi:10.1177/1066480706287654

Maccoby, E., & Martin, J.(1983). Socialization in the context of the family: Parent-child interaction. In E. M. Hetherington (Ed.). Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 4 Socialization, personality, and social development (p. 1-101). New York, NY: Wiley.

Miller, A., Lambert, A., & Speirs Neumeister, K. (2012). Parenting style, perfectionism, and creativity in high-ability and high-achieving young adults. Journal for the Education of the Gifted, 35(4), 344-365. doi:10.1177/0162353212459257

Parsasirat, Z., Montazeri, M., Yusooff, F., Subhi, N., & Nen, S. (2013). The most effective kinds of parents on children's academic achievement. Asian Social Science, 9(13), 229-242.

Spera, C. (2005). A review of the relationship among parenting practices, parenting styles, and adolescent school achievement. Educational Psychology Review, 17(2), 125-146. doi:10.1007/s10648-005-3950-1