Parenting Styles-Permissive Parent

In studying parenting styles, four typologies exist:  authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and indifferent (Baurmind, 2005; Maccoby and Martin, 1983).  Having discussed both the authoritarian and authoritative parent, the third to examine is the permissive style‒addressing the characteristics, biblical application, and outcomes.    

Permissive Parenting

Characteristics

The permissive parent requires less introduction than the authoritarian and authoritative parent.  This is the parent who allows the child to make most or all of their own decisions.  The child has the control and the parent functions more like a friend than one in authority (Cherry 2014).  While this parent is warm and emotionally responsive to their children, they are reluctant to impose rules, or restrictions.  They make few demands and have low expectations.  The permissive parent is lenient with regards to discipline and may view it as suppressing the child’s happiness, rather than a means of training and ultimately improving the child’s well-being.

Instructions take the form of suggestions and requests by the parent, which means that children are left to determine for themselves what they want to do, what is right, and what is wrong.  Rather than telling the child to put their tennis shoes on to play outside, this parent might say, “Don’t you want to put your tennis shoes on before you go outside”?  This practice is problematic when is becomes a habit.  Parenting with suggestions sends the message that the child is in control.  When instruction is a suggestion, misbehavior is ignored, and disobedience is overlooked or mismanaged.  

Biblical Application

The Bible clearly commands parents to instruct and train their children (Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 6:6-7).  This requires purposeful interaction.  Making suggestions as a means of instruction contradicts a biblical worldview of parenting.  An absence of instruction and leadership results in a lack of respect for authority.   The child rules the roost and the concept of God as the supreme authority, is lost.  This then, affects a child’s ability to understand the sovereignty of God, a primary doctrinal truth, which is foundational to one’s faith. 

Eli, priest to the Jewish people, provides an example of a permissive parent who overlooked the misbehavior (sin) of his sons. Refusing to address his sons’ disobedience resulted in their death (1 Samuel 2:29-34).  This story highlights the need for parents to train, admonish, correct, and guide their children.  God takes sin seriously.  Parental instruction is intended to train children to love and obey God.  For the child living within the boundaries set by the parent, scripture promises that things will go well for the child.  Honor and obedience to parents is rewarded. 

In contrast, a child left to rule himself, will find it difficult to exercise self-control, live within boundaries or understand the holiness of God.  Neglecting to discipline can lead a child to the false assumption that right and wrong are relative to their desires and that moral truth is subjective.  Scripture clearly states the negative consequence of overlooking discipline; Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline, but he who regards reproof will be honored (Proverbs 13:18).

 Outcomes

According to Parsasirat, Montazer, Yusooff, Subhi and Nen (2013) permissive parenting is associated with low expectations and children who disregard teachers’ instruction.  This may contribute to the negative relationship between this parenting style and academic achievement.  Although some studies show permissive style parenting to have a positive effect on the creativity of children later in life, the number of negative effects are far greater. 

Behaviors and areas found to be negatively affected by permissive parenting include student achievement (Dehyadegary, Yaacob, Juhari, & Talib, 2012; Parsasirat et al, 2013) and grade point average (Temple, 2010).  In addition, children of permissive parents are less responsive, less self-reliant, less self-controlled, and less proficient than children of authoritative or authoritarian parents.  Research also suggests children who are raised by permissive parents have poor social skills, are impulsive, less obedient, more aggressive, and at higher risk of substance abuse, depression, and anxiety in later years.  

Case Study

Leah grew up with a permissive parent.  When she was young, she had a great deal of freedom in regards to how she spent her time and little was required of her in terms of responsibilities.  As she got older, this freedom affected her academic performance.  She lacked diligence and an interest in school work.  The parent “requested” certain behaviors but expectations for obedience were low and inconsistent.  Stated consequences for misbehavior were not enforced.  By middle school, Leah knew she was in control.  Presently, she rules the television remote, determines her bedtime, has unlimited access to the refrigerator and cabinets, argues about doing chores, does not do her homework when asked, and does poorly in school.  When challenged, she has become more aggressive and argumentative.  She lacks respect for authority, both within the family and at school.  While the permissive parent may consider themselves to be tolerant and easy going, the permissive parenting style does not result in positive outcomes.  Rather the permissive parent adversely affects the child’s well-being.    

REFERENCES

Baumrind, D. (2005). Patterns of parental authority and adolescent autonomy. New Directions for Child & Adolescent Development, 2005(108), 61-69.

Cherry, K. (2014). Parenting styles: The four styles of parenting. Retrieved from http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

de Apodaca, R. F., Gentling, D. G., Steinhaus, J. K., & Rosenberg, E. A. (2015). Parental involvement as a mediator of academic performance among special education middle school students. School Community Journal, 25(2), 35-54.

Miller, A., Lambert, A., & Speirs Neumeister, K. (2012). Parenting style, perfectionism, and creativity in high-ability and high-achieving young adults. Journal for the Education of the Gifted, 35(4), 344-365. doi:10.1177/0162353212459257

Parsasirat, Z., Montazeri, M., Yusooff, F., Subhi, N., & Nen, S. (2013). The most effective kinds of parents on children's academic achievement. Asian Social Science, 9(13), 229-242.

Temple, M. R. (2010). Middle school African American males: An emergent model of socialization. (Order No. 3432141, Indiana University). ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, 248. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/821231584?accountid=12085. (821231584).